WTF, Gen-Y? IMHO, D Man Sux! KWIM?

Hey kids … there’s a real world out there, and it can be freaking ugly if you let it!

“Who am I calling a kid?” Well, if the following describes your lifestyle, I might be talking to you: the latest cell-phone (with all the bells and whistles) is constantly stuck next to your ear, you believe that everyone should win when a friendly game of competition comes their way (what’s the point in that?) or better yet: you work from home for a cool new innovative company? If I hit any nails on the head, let me be the first to warn you … life is not all roses! The evil, well-hidden machines (often referred to as “corporations”) are ultimately telling you how to think, what to wear and how you should be spending your hard-earned (well, not that hard) money!

That’s correct … these bastards skipped our generation, because we weren’t buying into the gift-wrapped lies that tricked our parents into surrender! Now before you start saying that I’m talking down to a whole generation with mere generalizations, let me at least tell you this: I’m really, really not! It’s just my solid belief that the business world is in fact getting away with a lot more bulls$%t than it was back in my days … and it’s having a huge snowball effect throughout this great nation of ours!

I can hear the half-hearted criticism now (we also had that rebellious, look-at-us-because-we-are-different attitude, don’t forget. At least us smart ones did!): “Who gives a shit if you guys were the first generation to witness the arrival of the home computer, the growth of videogames, or the Internet as a tool for social and commercial purposes?” or “What was so great about the Grunge Era, the early Hip hop culture, AIDS awareness and the dot-com boom anyways?” My answer to those open-ended questions is as followed: that shit is all irrelevant! What truly matters is the fact that you young guys (and gals … yes we were raised with just as much gender awareness as you were) are getting hit from all angles with lies, greed and deception — all of which is meant to merely sedate you! Please, let me explain …

There’s a whole new field of music out there, but if you listen close enough, you’ll definitely notice something familiar: that’s right, it’s all been played before (but now those phony bastards dissected and messed it all to hell). You poor Gen-Yers have no good songs anymore (Puffy Daddy’s joke ass is probably producing half of them … and the corporate swindlers are more than likely doing the rest). Your music doesn’t have feelings anymore … or meaning! It’s just there to keep you happy and tranquilized; whereas real music is supposed to provoke you into a deep thought process (you know I’m right, don’t you? God, I hope so)!

Next up is your fashion sense: you guys are seriously getting ripped the hell off (your clothes shouldn’t cost half as much as you’re paying for them … but nobody is warning you about it [for a reason {profit}]). Nowadays, every hack musician and actor (if we can call them that, because they really truly suck in this day and age) has a clothing and/or perfume line that was created through corporate-sponsored greed and a lot of false promises! Today, it seems like cotton (or polyester, for that matter) is worth more than gold, and MTV doesn’t really play music anymore (what’s it up to now – Real World 57? God that show’s a big, silly-ass joke)!

I get it Generation Y, I really do … you are 50% bigger than we were, and like half of us have dropped out of the workforce to take care of our kids and parents! Don’t get me wrong, we certainly did have the same confidence going in as you did, and also the same ambition to make this a much greater world! We were computer-savvy, yes! However, we didn’t stand a chance … we came right after the Baby Boomers, and they ruled us with a heavy hand, while waving small checks in front of our over-educated faces, but you, yes you Gen-Y, have it so much different now … you have a real chance to make your mark, because you followed the Slacker Generation, and do you know what? I’m glad that you did!

I just hope for the sake of this planet that I’m living on, that you don’t fall prey to the last of the status quo gatekeepers, which are doing everything they can (short of a nuclear bomb. Well, I better not put that crazy idea into their heads) to make sure things stay exactly the same! That’s the “man” that you have to fight tooth and nail, if we are ever going to change for the better (read: fairer for all — not just the wealthiest)!

Good luck, young people … and Godspeed to you! I sincerely wish you well!