The Tricks To Keeping Your Vacation Affordable!

Ah vacations … what would we do without them, right? I’ll tell you what we’d do: we’d lose our ever-loving minds — that’s what we’d do!

I’m so looking forward to taking a break this February for my wedding in the Keys. Instead of flying down like everyone in our family will be doing, we will be driving from Boca Raton to the lowest point in the Continental U.S.: a place that will forever be known (thanks to Jimmy Buffett’s drunken ass) as “Margaritaville”. On a serious side note: it is the coolest destination spot on the planet Earth — bar none and GUARANTEED!

What I will offer you now is some sage advice that is sure to save you a ton of money on practically any vacation you will ever take (note: I won’t be cheesy like the travel websites that tell you how to get a cheap hotel room or half-priced car rentals, because that’s not what I’m all about: lying to people) but if you really want to do it “right” why not watch the sun go down in the most relaxing city known to man, and stop taking those week-ass vacations to the Jersey Shore or Vegas again (like all of your other boring neighbors are doing on the first day of summer)? Anyway, here are the tips that I was talking about earlier:

Make sure your hotel room has a full kitchen! Most places don’t offer this luxury anymore, so this is why you’re not going to stay at just any old place. Get yourself a kitchen, and I can promise you that you’ll save a ton of money (I won’t go over the details here, but I can promise you that I’m telling you the truth).

Stay away from the mini-bar. No matter how bad the hunger for a tiny-sized Cape Cod or Screwdriver gets, remember this one simple fact of life that always rings nothing but true: you can buy a whole bottle for what they charge, so go buy a whole bottle then (they should put this sage advice in a fortune cookie or something). There is truly nothing worth the price in that thing — stay away!

Use the hotel’s coffee maker. And all of their complimentary coffee. Enjoy a cup while you’re getting ready in the morning, while you’re chilling during the afternoon, and before you go out at night. This will completely eliminate the need to spend any money at a thieving coffee shop. Did you run out of coffee? Well, you better call down and have them bring some more up (note: you paid for it, so drink it)!

Only buy snacks from the supermarket. Never buy food from a hotel store. Also, it is always much, much cheaper to pick up some fresh fruit, a bag of chips, or some cheese and crackers from a grocery store than it is to buy from a nearby food stand or convenient store (everybody knows this. You don’t? Then think about what was just said for a moment, Mr. /Mrs. Nobody).

Bring a cheap water bottle along. Buying drinks (non-alcoholic ones, you lush) during the day can get pretty expensive, however you’re going to feel the need to quench your thirst eventually, so do yourself a favor and carry along the bottle that they gave you at the last company get-together (that costs like $1.40). This way you can fill it up along the way and never have to buy an overpriced soda or Evian again! Bonus: at the end of your trip you can just toss it out (just don’t tell your cheap boss. He spent “good” money on those things. LOL)

I am going to be a new man pretty soon, and this comes with a bunch of new responsibilities: buying a new home for us both to live in, paying for the kids (from birth to college funds), leaving Florida (forever) in a year or two, getting new cars when they eventually break down, and planning out our yearly vacations … plus, a lot of other stuff I hear my married friends complain about. Don’t worry about me though: I’ll be perfectly fine, for I am a die-hard frugalite (and just like you, I know how to get stuff done cheaper than the rest)!

Anyway, back to the subject…vacations are super awesome! I wish I could have a lot more per year!