Staying At A Motel? What Are You, Psycho?

It’s two in the morning, and your solo road trip has lost its luster …

You’re getting sleepy, and you still have 513 miles till you reach your destination. Don’t risk it: get a place to rest for the night. You agree? Ok then, what’s it going to be: a nice hotel or a cheap motel? What’s the difference you ask? I’ll explain …

The obvious answer is that hotels are typically fancier than motels! Is that it — is that the real reason between a $150 and a $25 per-night room? Well, a motel provides lodging in which the rooms are connected to an outdoor parking lot as opposed to a hotel where the rooms are only accessible from within the establishment itself. BTW: Motel was coined as a mix between motor and hotel (somewhere in CA, a long time ago). To El Cheapos like me, motels are the clear-cut winner!

Note: Don’t be afraid of the cheap motel (the movies are full of crap, most of the times). Just because it costs so little to stay the night, doesn’t mean they’re any worse than a HoJo’s (like that place isn’t a dump itself). Use the following advice and you might hack a little more off the tab (maybe “hack” isn’t the best word: remember the Bates motel?):

The off-season at motels is cheaper, and often rooms go vacant, especially in a non-tourist town in the middle of the week. Now is the time for brass tacks – time to wheel and deal on that room price! It’s a win-win situation! If these idiots do happen to decline your “best” offer, be prepared to jump back in the car and find a place that will. A lot of times you won’t make it to the front door before they say, “Wait…”

If not, next stop: a “mom and pop” sort of place. If anyone will take you in on the cheap, these places will. The reasons your chances are better here than at a chain establishment: the low-paid clerks that work at chains are usually too dumb to know “some” money is better than none at all, and they could really care less if they rented a room or not (unless their boss is over their shoulder).

Show some brand loyalty. If you liked what you saw on the way out, use their services again on the way back. Check in at the same time as last, and they might just remember you (not a good idea if you stole towels or something). Most of the time, this strategy pays off — if you call up the front desk for late night requests, you might have a better chance of getting them now (as long as they’re not that strange).

Most travelers have “make or break” lodging requirements. Don’t. For me, a nonsmoking room is not a must-have (If needed, I can crack open a window and Febreeze™ the hell out of the room). Next, make a list of features that are important to you, and then throw it away (you’re at a motel, stupid).

If you’ve never been to one (snob) this is what you’re usually guaranteed (if you’re lucky):

Parking. It’s free, and you can see your car from the room!

Swimming pool. Want to relax? Go for a swim. Forget this service in the winter months (it’s too cold).

Pets. If you brought Fido with, you’re in luck. Most motels take them in. Hotels, however suck when it comes to this rule.

Late arrival. Most motels offer a late check-in option. Get there when you feel like it!

In the end, it’s totally up to you to decide how you’ll spend your money, but for mine I usually wind up at a decent motel, and use the same ones every time I travel. Remember: if you have questions before you get there, you can call the motel’s front desk and discuss your concerns with the manager. Also: forget what Hollywood tells you — motels are safer than you think (those guys are only into scaring people for a quick buck)!