I’m Calling Bulls@#t On Commercials!

Here’s a fact: most advertisements are full of s@#t (some more than others [see pic])!

Whether it’s on TV in a 30-second spot in between your favorite show, or in the weekly circulars that are tucked inside of your Sunday newspaper, you almost have to know that some advertising company was paid big bucks to make you do or buy something that you wouldn’t do or buy otherwise (not with a clear mind I should clarify here). So my advice to you is this: take these lies with a grain of salt, while you quickly turn up your bulls@#t meter a few notches at the same time!

Throughout my short life, I’ve met plenty of people and companies who are full of absolute s@#t, AND plenty who are as sincere and genuine as they come. The tricky part then comes when this person or company insists they are one way (like wholesome and good for you) yet their actions depict them in an entirely different light. When this crap-talking session occurs, you’re nostrils should begin to flare up, and when they’re saying that they are a certain way, but nothing in their past reflects this claim then this would be the perfect time to walk away from this bulls@#t (I mean right now … while they’re trying hard to suck you in!).

Now, if they’ve got past this initial phase of flinging the s@#t, then you better start asking people that have dealt with this company before all about their experience (however, you also have to be careful with this … because they may have drank that company’s Kool-aid themselves)! Top that strategy off with this one, to keep yourself safe: wait them out! You see, most people don’t want to do this, but this works every single time (like a charm). Do this and you’ll clearly be able to tell if a company is full of it, because it’ll usually go out of business or bankrupt, or else they’ll continue to show their poker hand by doing the complete opposite of what they’re saying (read: they just folded).

In actual practice, few people are dumbasses! However, in certain circumstances, we’re apt to have greater or lesser degrees of gullibility or deception. This potential for deception is greater today than in the past simply because of the mass media, which allows instant access to millions of people, and which takes away some of the natural defenses against deception, like those nonverbal cues that would have tipped off this bulls@#t! It’s true: a commercial nowadays can simply edit out any unwanted or unfavorable images. Sucks, huh?

Did you know that the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is severely limited in enforcement and penalties? Well, it is! In practice, an ad campaign could actually run its full course before the necessary legal action could get it stopped. It’s this misunderstanding of the FTC’s limitations that causes people to have a false sense of security, because most people are vaguely aware of the laws to prohibit deceptive advertising, so they naturally assume that the government protects them from all deception: “It must be true, or else the government wouldn’t allow it on TV!” This is so not true!

So, instead of trying to catch these crooks after the fact, today the general trend of the FTC is toward preventative measures to help reduce deceptive advertising: things like requirements to substantiate claims, encouragement of comparative advertising, and use of “corrective” ads have been able to curtail at least some of this bulls@#ting! Perhaps the most influential reforms are going on unnoticed by the general public: the setting up of “industry guidelines” suggesting, in advance, what the FTC would consider deceptive if it were to be used. These “suggestions” may not have the force of law, but they DO keep many advertisers away from the borderlines. These guidelines have helped clarify some complex problems about the legality of some deceptions and lies, which may be the only thing saving our a@#es at this time!

So, you want to start protecting yourself against commercial bullsh@#ting? Well then, having a reliable bulls@#t detector can be your most valuable asset! Personally, mine has saved me tens of thousands of dollars and hundreds of wasted hours with people who are full of nothing but hot air. Believe that!