Go Brag To Someone Else … You Freaking Loser!

God knows I hate braggers (A.K.A. showoffs)!

This is why: these insecure “people” try to convince themselves of their superiority, solely by trying to convince everyone else! They also eliminate any chance of you becoming their friend by competing with you, when there shouldn’t be any competition in the first place. Now, I wouldn’t mind these pains in the asses if they shared their valuable experiences (which none of them possess … maybe that’s why) rather than trying to defeat you at every single turn (ex. “I did this, or I have that” Who gives a flying f@#k, you one-upper? Go get a life)! This is what these lowlifes need to hear: if you can’t share your life’s experience productively, then why are you even adding your two cents into a conversation? Seriously!

This is what makes these know-it-alls tick (quite badly, I must add here): they have low self-esteem and strongly desire the approval of their normal peers (which is a human paradox, because they never will … as most people hate these a@#holes). Sure, it is only natural to seek friendship and recognition for our efforts in life, but it is also imperative that we keep our selfish desires in-check so we do not jeopardize any resemblance of an actual friendship (you know … the thing that everyone else has, besides these loudmouths).

People, material things aren’t that important in life, but braggers find a way to make other people jealous of the expensive crap that they spent all of their money on, to try and be cool. When this occurs, it is best to stand up to these showoffs and say something that will make them feel the same way as they’re trying to make you feel! Then, if they get upset pull them aside and talk to them about their bulls@#t. Now, if that doesn’t work, then either never talk to them again or go along with a little game I like to call “let’s make a fool out of this a@#hole” until they get the message and leave you alone.

These wastes of space try to make everyone jealous of the insignificant s@#t in their lives (of which they cling to for dear life) and real friends would never do this to you — ever!! Now, in being self-conscious, these scumbags have somehow inherently decided that they are inferior, and they go out of their way as a result to convince themselves (via external feedback) that they are superior. When you ignore them, you are actually reinforcing the negative emotion inside of them that they’re inferior, and individuals like this often usually go to great lengths to try and force you to listen to them (in order to mask their own insecurities). This is why you need to leave them alone … they’re like a virus, much worse than herpes!

So, the next time they cross you path at work, just smile on the inside, and realize that they are really just pathetic losers, craving any attention that they can get their hands on. Then fine tune your ability to just pretend they don’t exist (I’m really, really good at this … however it comes with a lot of practice). The best part about this wicked little plan is this: there will be tremendous satisfaction in knowing that they cannot achieve the self assurance that they were seeking from you, and this will, in turn, make them feel even more insecure about themselves.

So from this day forth … act like you don’t give a rat’s a@# about what they say. They’ll then, sooner or later (the quicker the better) take the hint and will eventually stop trying to talk to you (which is super cool, in my humble opinion). Say something like “oh, that’s cool,” and then end the conversation right there, at that exact point. Or if you’re really feeling frisky, pop this old standby in there, “You shouldn’t have to try to impress me by bragging!” and then let the internal laughter ensue.

My friend, may you learn in life that high achievers simply have found something that they are exceptional at … and braggers will never know what that sense of accomplishment feels like — ever!