Home & Real Estate

I hate to be a d@#k about things, but if a thief ever breaks into my house while I’m home their (you know what) will be grass — period!

Do you know why? Well, it’s because I have a right, just like every other American does, to own a handgun and to keep it in my house to protect my family when this kind of greedy nonsense goes down! Does this make me a gun nut (a really stupid term that the far-too-left liberals have been throwing around like candy for at least a couple of decades now)? No … actually it doesn’t! Does it mean that I believe in regular citizens owning an Uzi or AK-47? Hells no (that’s way too much gun for most people)!

You see, I don’t think this is what our founding fathers had in mind when they sat around the tavern table discussing our future right to bear arms! However, I can pretty much guarantee that they didn’t talk about low-life drug dealers (or anyone else who has had a cameo appearance on Cops [bad boy, bay boys … whatcha’ gonna do?]) or crazy a-holes who like to run into schools and reenact some phony bulls@#t they just saw in a cowboy shoot-em-up! This is not what gun-ownership is all about people, and its jag-offs like these type of idiots who are giving us regular gun owners a bad rap!

So for those who have never held a cold steel, protector-of-life in their hands, let me tell you what you need to do before this will ever happen … Continued

Some jerk-off idiot (who doesn’t know anything, economically speaking) absent-mindedly said this in the next booth, while I was trying to enjoy my lunch today (God, I have to find a new place to eat)  …

“That is why SMART homeowners are not selling … they are waiting! Instead of selling their houses today, when they are worth a meager amount of what they were just a year ago or a mere fraction of what they will be for a while, savvy would-be sellers are riding this thing out! It’ll be back to normal in 2010 anyway.”

Sorry imbecile (who only parrots what you read from the wrong sources) I’m not buying that ridiculous theory one bit. The truth: when someone wants to sell their home, it’s usually because they’ve either planned on moving or really need the money. Either way, they aren’t going to (and probably couldn’t if they tried) wait forever to sell. If after a short period of time they get no takers, they’ll more than likely start to sweeten the deal with incentives or better yet: price cuts — especially if they’ve owned the place way before the height of the housing bubble, since they’ll be making a hefty profit anyway. Continued

Buying a home right now is a ridiculous idea (sorry realtors … for telling it like it is)!

Why on Earth would someone want to take out a home mortgage right now … right in the heart of this current economic crisis? First off, the housing market is in the crapper as I write this, and the wheel-turners and gatekeepers of this failing industry are still trying to get too much money, for too little house (we truly have to go back to the mid 1990’s for anything resembling a fair price). Secondly, the banking industry is suffering with the same outmoded plan of action (try to get a loan right now to see what I mean)! For all of this mayhem, you can pretty much thank the current administration (who millions will be throwing a worldwide party for when they leave office next January)!

What I will now tell you is the truth, and nothing but the truth: The right time to buy will be in a couple of years, because it will take nearly that long to clean up the trash and corruption that has been plaguing us for nearly a decade now! And while you’re waiting, like the smart people are doing, you might as well start saving for that glorious day when you and your family can walk through your first home’s front door, knowing that you did the right thing!

Just think about this fact: you don’t have the money right now for a huge down payment on a home (huge meaning 25% or more) but you certainly will when the time is right, if you at least try out some of the easiest ways to save (that most people aren’t thinking or telling you about) which I have included below: Continued

The holidays are a month away, but I bet that’s not stopping the kids from starting their lists now!

The problem with this part of the year is two-fold: on the one hand, you have your beautiful sweet children asking for more and more from “old Saint Nick” every year (I’d hate to see that guy’s inflation curve). On the other is a boxing glove that delivers a nasty sucker punch from the energy companies: heating bills are on fire, electric bills are shocking, and water bills are scalding! It’s a hook, left, kick and a kiss to your already stretched-out wallet.

I don’t suggest telling the kids there is no Santa Claus (that’s just morally wrong and cheap). I would, however, like to offer some convenient ways to help out with the second part. Below are some ideas everyone should know by now, but just in case you’re smart enough to not pay attention to the media (but crazy enough to read my garbage) here goes the best ways to “go the distance” with your public utility bills, and make sure your home is more energy efficient: Continued

My fiancée, Jen, loves everything about Jimmy Buffett!

His beachcomber lifestyle epitomizes a relaxed attitude. Take for example one of his greatest hits Margaritaville, of which she tells me only “posers” listen to (color me poser then). In this song, Jimmy (as a young man in Key West) is living the high life in a “bummy” sort of way! His days are filled with eating shrimp and sponge cake, losing his salt shaker constantly and getting hammered off of margaritas on the daily (which are horrible, by the way). This cheap ass can’t even afford a new pair of sandals (in the song, he “blows” his old crappy ones out).

Jen’s wanting a piece of this way of life is the reason we moved to South Florida. Too bad we didn’t get all the way down to Conch Country. Instead, we’re stuck in a far worse place than we started off with: Boca Raton. Before you damn “snowbird” New Yorkers jump down my throat, let me explain why this place has nothing to do with the beach lifestyle that many people would associate this part of the Sunshine State with … Continued