Automotive & Gas

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been looking for a replacement vehicle … so when my buddy “Old Red” eventually dies on the side of the road (note: I don’t want this to happen anytime soon, believe me … because me and this car have history. We go like everywhere together, to be honest with you) I’ll at least have a backup plan ready to go!

So here’s the scoop: I’m actually no spring chicken when it comes to buying cars … in fact, this next purchase will be my eleventh one, and to be honest with you most of them were European even though I like to support the U.S. of A. (sorry American motor companies … try churning out some quality stuff like you use to back in the day, and that may all change. Highly unlikely though, I should add here, as I think you’ve forgotten how great you could be if you actually gave a crap). I’m also world-traveled, so I’m not going to ignorantly shout out that American cars are the best, because most of them are actually not (to top this off, I think most of them are pretty shoddy)! Continued

If you’re like most of us, driving in traffic is probably high on your “worst places to be” list, am I right?

Of course I am … if you look at most freeways these days, you’d think you were on a freaking Indy 500 racetrack! However, there are three excellent reasons to break away from the pack of unsafe, aggressive drivers who are polluting them. First, when you drive like this, you put yourself and everyone around you in extreme danger. Second, driving aggressively is extremely stressful (your blood pressure goes way up, your grip on the wheel tightens, your eyes become strained, and your thoughts are spinning wildly out of control). Finally, you end up saving no time at all in getting where you want to go … this is the truth, so what’s the point?! Continued

Man, I just had “Old Red” up to 60 miles per hour in a 45 (Ok, ok … I know I just broke the law. Whatever … like you never did that)!

Ok, my car’s not much to look at anymore, but in my defense (and his) I only view cars as transportation, and not as a status symbol (like so many phonies in this world do) so I don’t give a rat’s a@# what my car looks like if it’s getting me around just fine (plus, no car payments equals much more money in the bank for yours truly)! Here’s how I view car ownership: I run ‘em till their wheels fall off, or until the cost of repairs become greater than the vehicle is worth. Continued

Take good care of your vehicle — it can lead to many years of trouble free, reliable service!

Many people, across this great nation of ours, work on their own car. Why, you ask? Well, it’s not only a great way to keep them on the road, but it’s also a great way to save some of your hard earned moolah in the process! Nobody (I mean nobody) wants to go to a car dealer or garage (both of which hire a lot of creeps that like to rip people off) for fun — we only go when we really have to (aren’t you in that same boat?)! Not to mention that it’s getting extremely expensive nowadays (upwards of $85 per hour for labor costs, with a half hour minimum at most places). So, if you are able to repair even the smallest things that can go wrong with your car, you might be able to both skip the mechanic, and keep some money in your bank account!

Ok, now that I got you all hyped up and you’re ready to tackle you car’s ailments, you should at least know the following major rules first (there are a million smaller rules that you can learn from car manuals, the internet or you uncle Charlie [who knows a thing or two about turning a wrench] but I’m only going to cover the very basic stuff here): Continued

GEICO is the worst insurance provider (in my opinion)!

Allow me to enlighten you (in a time-lapsed version): One day, in the summer of 2005, I parked my car. Someone then hit my car (they were involved in an actual shoot-out with a drug dealer on foot … like a bad after-school special). The pansy then got out and ran (leaving his car atop my back bumper). The cops were then called. The girlfriend of this hit-and-run crook (who actually owned the car) told the cops that she let this jag-off drive her car. She then told GEICO (her insurance company) that she DIDN’T let him drive it. My company (also GEICO) said they couldn’t do anything about it … that it was MY loss. I said I’d be suing THEM, not HER! The manager then gets on the phone and kisses my a#*. She said she needed a ton of police report paperwork, so I got it for her. Continued