Ask And You Shall Have (Pretty Damn Sweet, Right?)!

Confidence is a very sexy trait … that will get you whatever you want!

Now, those who falsely confuse this gift with arrogance have no clue as to what power it holds, because these two states of mind are entirely different (Yes, I hate arrogant people too. Don’t worry though: these phonies are just walking around, pretending that their small, petty lives are more important than they really are [how to spot arrogant people: use The Real Housewives of New York, Orange County or Atlanta as a measuring tool. Those counterfeit idiots sicken me])! The truth: you physically can’t confuse real confidence with anything else — it’s too powerful and magnetic to let you even try!

To define confidence is simple (put down your encyclopedias; it’s not in there [at least not the true definition]): it’s asking for what you want (did you get all that?)! Whether it is getting a huge raise way before their next review comes up, paying half-price for a car that was listed as “my price is firm – don’t bother bargaining” or picking up someone that’s way out of their league, confident people always ask others for stuff that most people are too afraid to.

I bet you didn’t know this: one of the biggest hurdles involved with achieving goals is simply building up enough courage to ask for them (think about it for a second). Now, if you’re not asking for what you want, then you’ll never improve the value of what you are offering (huh? Read on!). True growth definitely works in a huge cycle: first, you create value by asking for what you want and if you get rejected (which you will — a lot. Believe me on this one) then you modify your approach. It’s that simple: the goals you set are the requests you make of the world. Without asking, you’ll never figure out how easy it is to get it!

If you’re like most people, you’re afraid you’ll blow it (am I right?). You’ll stammer and stutter and may not even end up making your request at all. My advice: keep the following note handy, for these very awkward situations (the “not throwing up” part is all you, kid):

Write down what you want to say to whomever you want to say it to. This is the crucial part — the one that will also determine if you’re starting off on a good foot or not!

Rehearse, rehearse … and then rehearse some more. Seriously, this stuff only comes natural to gypsies and sleazy used car salesmen (if you’re one of these two types, I don’t want you using this advice to take advantage of people. Get out of here … now!).

Practice with a trusted confidant (read: buddy, sibling or someone you didn’t have to pay to coach you through it. BTW: those coaching “experts” are crowding the Twitter website with all their nonsense) then toss the script where no one will ever find it!

Go for it. Ask for what you want. Get what you want. Then check out my site daily (I’m full of free advice). Can you do that for me? I’d really appreciate it! See how easy it could be? Now really … can you read my site more often (LOL)?

If confidence and arrogance still sound like the same thing to you, I’ll give it one more try before I get out of here: The real difference (which is not a secret … no magic formula here that I want you to spend $19.99 or more on, like those self-important gurus are trying to steal from you) lies in the fact that confident people ask for something because they have earned the right to, and they are also the one making the initiative to get it. They are the one who are trying to fulfill the transaction by getting what they want, and even if the transaction favors the other person (ex. trying to get a huge raise from a stingy boss who works them way too hard [sound familiar?]) they are still the one who is asking to complete the interaction, This, my friend, is the way to separate the two completely different ways of life — I hope you can now tell the difference!

Remember this, if nothing else, about confidence: the reason you need to ask for things in the first place is because the world is never going to ask for you, and the end result of that equation is that you’ll never get what you want — ever!