A Thrifty Fish Story

It’s my day off, so I’m out back fishing. I live on a marina, so I get to do this a lot. If you have to drive hours to get to the water, I’m sorry for sounding like a yuppie jerk. Anyways…

A couple of minutes ago, I caught a nice size moon fish and didn’t know whether to keep it or not. They’re tough to fillet (with that spine going down the middle) but the meat is tasty. If I throw it back, I’ll feel better about the whole situation. If I keep it, I won’t have to pay for my dinner tonight. Speaking of saving money, I constantly search the web to find out how to make mine go further in these tough economic times. The following are my personal “best of the best” — you might think otherwise (it’s your right):

Spend less than you make. I’m Pennsylvania Dutch, so this is easy for me, but for most Americans the opposite is usually the case. However, if you really want to stop the “debt monster” from growing, you should really sit down, make a detailed budget and stick to it. Once you start spending less than you make, you will be able to erase your current debt a lot quicker.

Debts are out of here. You should pay off your debts from smallest to largest. I didn’t make this up, but heard it works great. First, list all of your debts in the order of balances due. Start paying as much as you can on the smallest debt until it’s gone, while continuing to pay the minimum on the rest. Once the smallest debt is paid off, move on to the next one on the list. This will erase debts faster than trying to work on them all at once.

Sell that fuel-burner. My last car was a pick-up that barely got 15 mpg. Down a hill. With no wind. What did I learn from this experience? If you don’t use your truck for work, and you’re secure in your manhood, the compensation is zero! Forget those stupid Toby Keith commercials and buy something that won’t keep us dependent on foreign oil (that keeps going up and up). If you don’t know where to start, find a neighbor with a three banger and get something better than his. Seriously! Something with four or six cylinders is ideal.

Ciao, Ma Bell. If you have a cell phone (who doesn’t, honestly, raise your hand) there’s no reason to keep a land line. This is a fantastic way to save some green. I had a phone at home that gave me the “evil eye” every time I got on my cell phone. What did I do about it? I disconnected it, but kept it in the same place. A reminder that I’m saving money? No, I just like to tease it (LOL).

Pack your lunch. The bully doesn’t want your money anymore, but the local eateries sure do. Spending just $7 a day for that “bad for you” lunch (that you really shouldn’t eat anyway) will cost on average $1800 a year. Keep most of this money in your pocket by brown-bagging it, and tell that sweaty dude who makes your daily burger to enjoy the rest of his life. Another benefit of packing: you get to see how many calories and fat really goes into your food.

What did I do with the fish you ask? Did I do the right thing and toss him (or her, can’t tell) back, or wrap it up in aluminum foil with an oil and lemon marinade? With a side of hot baked potato and a Caesar salad. Well, I have to ask you one thing: could you please pass the salt and pepper?