A Conversation With A Bum Who Popped Out Of My Dumpster!

A funny thing happened to me, while taking the garbage out last night …

I had my best friend (Bailey. Who’s a dog by the way)’s leash in my one hand (while he was constantly trying to pull the other way, like always) and a large and heavy trash bag in the other. When I made it over the dumpster in the complex, I saw two legs sticking out of it. “What the hell is going on? (I said this quietly to myself)” Oh, it just turned out to be another trash digger (we’ve been getting a lot of them lately) and since I’m a curious (sometimes to a fault) being, I just had to ask him what the hell he was doing in there!

This is his eye-opening story (paraphrased, of course. I couldn’t understand him with food in his mouth. Sick, I know):

“We live in a time of excess and waste, and I don’t think you should look down on those of us who find a way to use that waste”. What was he insinuating (freaking bum)?

“We Dumpster Divers (he said it like it was an official job title or something. Hilarious) are people who search for things that other people throw out that still have some life in them, or can be sold at the recycling plant! We not only pick up discarded items left at people’s homes, but also at apartment buildings like this and behind shopping centers. It’s extremely fun to us, and it keeps the landfills from filling up”. Man, he had a point (and a dirty face)!

“Have you ever thrown away something that we could have given to charity or sold at a garage sale (of course I have. Who hasn’t)? Well, think about it this way: everyone does this and we are able to find a better use for this stuff. I know that some divers (LOL) look for personal information to steal identities with, but most of us are not about that! There’s actually rules and etiquette that we abide by. Most of us are actually helping the planet. Did you know that?” I didn’t, but I do now!

Ok, so I now had to give this guy the benefit of the doubt — I was still intrigued though. Interested in knowing how I could smooth out the process of turning one man’s trash into another man’s treasures! How could I make it easier for these guys, and make sure they’re not making a mess at the same time? Then an answer popped into my head … so, the next day I hung this sign up on each of the dumpsters on the property:

We left the good stuff next to the trash, so don’t bother diving!

If you want to save yourself from ever being put into this embarrassing situation, and a few bucks on that garbage bill, why not put the goods next to the dumpster or trash can next time? The following is what these guys usually go after:

They collect everything from dishes to records, furniture, computers & accessories, VCR’s, televisions, radios, lawn mowers, vacuum cleaners, power tools, telephones, answering machines, and bicycles (not an extensive list, but you get the point right?).

Hopefully, this will help keep these “dumpster divers” (that still kills me! Sorry) from getting hurt, help keep the planet from getting overloaded with junk, and help stop scaring the crap out of unsuspecting people when they go to take the garbage out at night!

Thank you bum, you opened my eyes (sorry that I keep calling this guy “bum”, but he wanted to remain anonymous, and I thought that was a good idea at the time)!