Archive for September, 2009

In sales (which mostly everything in this world is in) the man, the myth and the legend has always been the Closer!

Sure, companies need a few half-wits to run around like chickens with their heads cut off, answering all the stupid little questions that most customers who are only window shopping are going to ask! And yes, you need someone to keep the place neat and tidy … that’s why they promote the bores to management (these guys can’t sell their way out of a paper bag, to be quite honest with you)! However, without a Closer your place of employment wouldn’t be standing where it is … it’s true (you’d actually be standing in either a grass field or a Wal-Mart parking lot right now)!

One of the most important figures in a company are the Closers, and they are certainly cut from a different cloth (they’re either born with it or they’re not)! Sure these guys smoke like two packs of cigarettes a day, and get sloppy drunk in their off hours, but when they are out on that floor (which coincidentally is their Nirvana) they are gods amongst men, and nothing stands in their way of making that next sale … nothing! They know every little trick in the book when it comes to getting the job done, too! The rest of this article is a “tip of the iceberg” view of the magical powers that these lucky individuals naturally possess … Continued

Take good care of your vehicle — it can lead to many years of trouble free, reliable service!

Many people, across this great nation of ours, work on their own car. Why, you ask? Well, it’s not only a great way to keep them on the road, but it’s also a great way to save some of your hard earned moolah in the process! Nobody (I mean nobody) wants to go to a car dealer or garage (both of which hire a lot of creeps that like to rip people off) for fun — we only go when we really have to (aren’t you in that same boat?)! Not to mention that it’s getting extremely expensive nowadays (upwards of $85 per hour for labor costs, with a half hour minimum at most places). So, if you are able to repair even the smallest things that can go wrong with your car, you might be able to both skip the mechanic, and keep some money in your bank account!

Ok, now that I got you all hyped up and you’re ready to tackle you car’s ailments, you should at least know the following major rules first (there are a million smaller rules that you can learn from car manuals, the internet or you uncle Charlie [who knows a thing or two about turning a wrench] but I’m only going to cover the very basic stuff here): Continued

Watching TV is the absolute last thing I want to do when I’m completely bored. Seriously, I no longer have an interest in watching pretend people live their pretend lives — it’s all a bunch of bulls@#t. The simple truth is that they don’t contribute to the quality of my life in any way, shape or form!

“But some of these shows are informative!” you say? Yes, but do you see that when you watch these shows you are simply accepting other people’s interpretation of events … instead of reading all of the facts and drawing your own conclusions? I love how these “educational” sort of shows try to convince you that it’s their way or the highway relating to things happening the way they said it did, when in fact this is just their mere interpretation of what has happened (you know this right?). Continued

Hey there everyone! What’s shaking/going down?

You getting your work all wrapped up for the week? Falling behind a little, but planning to catch up on Monday? Do you do too much work, for too little pay (I sure as hell hope not)? Or are you one of those lucky son-of-a-guns who hardly works, but get paid a s@#tload of dough anyways (I sure as hell hope not, again. Why else would you be reading my nutcase ramblings, I mean [I wasn’t trying to be a d@#k]? LOL)? In any case, I hope you’re planning something sweet for the weekend (this is what we wait for all work week long, after all. Am I right?) because that’s what life is really all about! Chilling out with the family, and having some good … no, great times outside of that sweatshop. Yea, sounds nice … can’t wait! How ‘bout you?

Well, here’s a little bit of the good stuff to get your day either started or finished (don’t blink now, but it’s almost Five O’ Clock somewhere!): Continued

Want to get somewhere in life? Well there’s a bunch of fools who are going to jump in the way of that pipe dream … that is unless you prepare yourself now (I’m talking some Art of War s@#t here — Sun Tzu-style b@#$hes!).

Go ahead …. think about the people you hate at work. Yea, they’re getting in your way, aren’t they? Mary in Marketing secretly hates your guts, and doesn’t give a rat’s a@# if you succeed in life or not (in fact, she probably hopes you fail miserably! However, you won’t be able to see her nasty thoughts through that fake smile and “How are you doing today [your name]” comments. So you better come correct, and read on …). Plus, she’s in cahoots with Thomas the “Office Gossiper” who gets a bigger check than his workload deserves (it’s still pretty small though … don’t let him catch onto that sad fact, ok?). These are the simple facts of most office settings — pretty sad huh?

Now, are you ready to learn how to handle your “bizness” at your place of employment? Good, then here’s a great place to start: learning what these sneaky bastards are up to, by getting inside their shallow little minds: Continued