Archive for July, 2009

“The Week in Review: Money Issues” is my weekly blog research on financial topics that define us as Americans, and shape the way we should do business.

What a difference a week makes!

Last Friday I was tired as hell around this time, and now? Whew … I’m like a huge ball of energy! I have been writing non-stop over the last couple hours, pounding out my work way ahead of schedule (I love this new coffee blend that we got brewing all day long) and I don’t even feel like stopping (ok, I have to from time to time … I throw out the spelling and grammar errors on a pretty regular basis … and these need to be fixed, due to the fact that I’m a perfectionist! I know, I know … sucks to be me)! Plus, that coffee has to go somewhere … sometimes (I go like 15 times a day) …

Well, here goes the stuff you crave! If you could only see me now, I’d probably look like the squirrel on Over the Hedge to you (I don’t know if that’s funny or not … but it’s definitely true). Enjoy: Continued

Why go to the club to waste tons of money, where you’re forced to put up with way-too-loud music, girls that only want you to buy them a drink, and those annoying New Jersey Douche Bags that show up like cockroaches to spread their disease (read: phoniness, with a few layers of self-tanner, globs of hair gel and way too many Jagerbombs)? How can anyone truly have fun like this?

Well, here’s a thought: why not throw a great party at your place instead? Kind of like a House Party, without Kid and Play (if they show up, that would be pretty damn sweet). For starters, you’d get to invite who you want over (which is probably not going to include those aforementioned d-bags [unless you’re one of them, and you’re into that sort of thing]) listen to the music you want to hear, and at a level that won’t drown out any potentially interesting conversations! And the most important part: You’ll be saving a ton of cash along the way (think about how much you spent last time: bet it was over $100, right? Yea, I thought so!). Continued

It was like one million degrees this morning, so I decide to hit up the Dunkin’ Donuts for a Coffee Coolata!

Well anyways, on my way over there I saw this groomed young man with a table set up in the middle of the entranceway to our business park (when I say “Business Park” don’t think for a second that I’m not coming into work with a Jimmy Buffett shirt and some Crocs on … that’s how I do business) and on his well-crafted sign it was written “Recent College Grad Needs A Job”! Not only that, but he was wearing a freaking black suit … even the CEOs around here rock the Hawaiian shirts and shorts!

After I got back to the office, I downed my frozen concoction (Thank you D.D.s … you guys kick major ass) and then sat down to ponder what I have just witnessed … could I help this kid out somehow? I know we all have to start somewhere (my first job after college was in a dirty paper mill … however, my salary was much larger than most people I knew at the time, which allowed me to pay off my student loans in less than a year) so what could I do to lend another human being a hand? This same internal conversation ended with me calling the local news network and telling them about this resourceful kid, and they said they’d be right over (I’m the last person you’d be able to call a media whore, but I was curious as hell and just wanted to help). Continued

Here’s a good question: What talent did you bring into this world with you?

Are you an actor, capable of 100% commitment to each character you play? No? How about a singer then, with the voice of an angel? Nada? Ok, I see … maybe you’re pretty good with … Wow, nice way to cut me off there! Oh, you don’t have any talent to speak of, and my up-front line of questioning was starting to offend you (note: small minds usually get upset pretty easily)? That’s not a real reason for concern … thousands of people are now filling our idiot boxes (TVs, for the morons that didn’t get this) with nothing more than the greed-soaked drive to make their careers out of nothing, and guess what: there’s a producer out there for each and every one of them! Don’t believe me? Well, I’m telling you the God’s honest truth — please let me explain. Continued

Got you eye on that latest piece of technology?

Well, you better take it off right now, because it almost never pays to be the first one on the block to be suckered into the marketer’s bulls@#t, and that goes with any new technology (these greedy bastards have to regurgitate the same old crap because it’s their jobs … but it’s not yours to be ripped off by them). Whether it be the latest computer (I think desktop P.C.s are going to be a dead technology pretty soon … I give them a year or two until that fateful death cry) or a new kind of cell phone (“Oh, this one plays …” I often hear. Who gives a s@#t, why do you need that stupid feature anyways?) a fancy new car or anything else that has the prefix “latest” to it — if you buy it too soon, you will be paying way too much for it, because at the time it will be untested and probably an unreliable product, which hasn’t had all of its bugs worked out yet! Continued