Archive for March, 2009

Eastern philosophers claim that the main purpose of coming into this world is to find out who you really are, which in turn will help you avoid the further cycles of birth and death (ever hear the phrase “know thyself”? Yea, it comes from these guys).

Are you aware that even if you knew everything there is to know outside of you head, it would simply be a huge waste of both your energy and time (the reason: whatever you see outside your mind, is also in it [actually, you created it]. Pretty freaky, huh? NO, I don’t do drugs)? So when you do eventually know thyself, clearly and completely, then this truth will finally be revealed to you. Now, on to how this is going to save you lots of money, while you’re here suffering on this Earth with the rest of us … Continued

Take out your cell, and stare at it for a moment (not that hard, creepy guy). Bet it’s new, right?

Chances are also good that you bought it because it had more features than your old (old in the cell phone world = over a year) “crappy” (I’m using this word subjectively) phone. It probably has a camera attached to it, am I lying? And it more than likely has a bunch of “boring” (not subjective, more like collective) games to play when you get tired of living in the real world, am I mistaken (probably not)? The reason for all this unnecessary garbage: year by year, the cell phone manufacturers continue to pile on the oddball features, in the hopes that you’ll keep buying their wares, even though your current phone is working just fine!

I now pose this question (be serious about it for once, ok?): do you use all those new features? Or did you just buy that phone to show it off to all your buddies who care about such trivialities? Truth be told, I use my cell phone (which, by the way is two years old) exactly the same way I used a phone the first time I picked one up: to make and receive calls only (only exception: I throw in like 20 text messages a week for good measures). Most new features are lost on me, and if you look at the book that came with your phone, you will start to realize that a considerable chunk of your phone’s new features are lost on you, too. Continued

“The Week in Review: Money Issues” is my weekly blog research on financial topics that define us as Americans, and shape the way we should do business.

Ouch, my brain hurts … I mean really hurts (I have taken a beating this week)!

Why? Well, five days ago, my work week started off at a pretty regular pace … then it quickly sped up, and then it just went full-tilt (woooo hooooo)! Now, I’m left with a hot-to-the-touch brain that just wants to sit down and relax with a nice cold beer (preferably a Yuengling Lager, but I certainly wouldn’t turn down much of anything right now). I really can’t wait till that closing bell starts to ring (I’m just kidding, there’s no bell … but that would be kind of cool. Like working in a steel mill or something) in a little while … Ok, just checked the clock and I still have a long while to go, but it is what it is. I thought it was like 4:30, but it’s only 12:32 … drats!

Anyways, here goes the goods — hope you enjoy them, seeing as how I didn’t have much time to do the same (if they stink this week, I’m truly sorry. Nah, they’ll be great, I’m just kidding): Continued

If you haven’t heard yet, we’re smack dab in the middle of a recession (smell the sarcasm?)!

It’s blaring all over the airwaves, and a bunch of people are making a lot of money off of scaring the living daylights out of you! First you have the media, who’s doing what they always do: turning mountains out of molehills! Then you have the financial system, whose making their money on both the highs and lows of this predicament. Then there’s the late stragglers: the scam artists and the regular folks with greedy dollars signs in their eyes, who got in late and which, coincidentally are unwittingly marking a beginning to the end of this downward cycle (good news for the rest of us: these late people always lose their shirts — always!).

For my part, I’m inviting everyone over, free of charge, to help celebrate the fact that Americans can endure anything, once they call out “Bulls$#t” to all those who Bulls$#t us! Before you enter though, why not pick up some of the following deals along the way? Continued

You ever run into a whack-job, health nut on the street who told you that coffee is bad for you?

Well, if you haven’t, don’t worry … they’re all the same: first they’ll start clamoring into their long-winded, holier-than-thou spiel of telling you how coffee is no good for you, and that sooner or later it’s going to affect your blood pressure to the point that it will kill you. They’ll also state loudly that this is common knowledge (note: it’s not, by a long shot). What they won’t state at all: that they’re on the ‘roids again (note: they are). Freaking drug-addicted hypocrites!

Despite these weirdoes we, as pure-blooded Americans, continue to enter the coffee shops by the millions every single day (this just in: tea sucks, coffee kicks its ass). For many of us during this down-sloped economy, however, getting this daily fix is tearing out a huge hole in our pockets! What’s a person to do, you ask? Cut down on the good stuff? No thank you, sir … I’d rather give up my cable services than do something crazy like that (there’s nothing good on TV anyways). Sure, it kind of makes sense from a strictly financial standpoint, but from where I’m standing it doesn’t look likely to happen! Continued